Archive | March, 2018

Stormy Daniels? That’s Nothing Compared As To The Time When Hurricane ShitStorm Rikki (Lixxx) Blew Through Town

30 Mar

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BACK BY POPULAR DEMAND!! Since the blog I’ve written a couple of years back detailing the subject of my once next door neighbor fling with amateur adult film actress Rikki Lixxx makes today’s whole damn debacle of our current Russian elected president with no fucking credentials is currently going through look like a day of a golden shower drizzle on a California June Gloom day. IT WAS SO FUCKING POPULAR (It’s still in the Top Ten of best downloaded blogs of all time on this site) – I thought, perhaps in lieu of today’s current events, I’d share some of a e-mail exchanged between her and I from the golden days of a decade ago.

I received this particular e-mail after Rikki and I had a explosive meeting in a Van Nuys probation office with a ‘arbitrator’ concerning whether or not I was eligible to be served a ‘restraining order’ once I turned the tables on her and I had been instrumental in helping Van Nuys Vice to help get her arrested for trying to suck off a ‘cop’ in the garage located directly beneath my bedroom of our mutual Mephistopheles inspired enclave that was thee knighted “The Hazeltine Hellmouth“.

Yep, I had gotten her good. I supplied evidence secretly through the fax machine and e-mail equipment auspices of Fox Studios, where I was working as an admin in the Sports division.  Two years later down the line was when I had an office at Sony, I had almost gotten a second package of evidence ready to press off to the County DA when apparently she didn’t learn her lesson the first time around by violating her probation and tried sending some giant goon to my house while I was in my Westwood office digs doing and caused some vandalism to my apartment and threatening both my roommates at the time. I fixed that fucker’s wagon when the idiot left mail on the front seat of his car and I jotted down his street address and then went off on my merry way to file a restraining order in the city of Torrance in which his wife was the one who ended up getting served with the papers AND that’s when she found out that her husband was slamming holes where fourteen thousand African American dicks had already been before him.

He sure didn’t like her wife finding out that shit, no thanks to me. He called and threatened to kill me while I was visiting my dad in Las Vegas.

Fucking good times.

Anyway, this letter made the cyber rounds around Christmastime of 2006.

Rikki LiXXX <rikkilixxx69@yahoo.com> wrote:
ARE YOU HAPPY?  YOU HAVE DESTROYED MY LIFE.  YOU KEEP DAMAGING MY CAR.  NOW YOU ARE DAMAGING MY FRIENDS CAR.  WATCHING EVERYTHING FROM YOUR BEDROOM WINDOW.  STALKING ME AND WHOEVER MAY VISIT ME. 
 
ALL I WANTED WAS FOR YOU TO BACK OFF A LITTLE BUT ALL THAT DID WAS MAKE YOU ANGRY.  YOU NOW HAVE SOMEWHERE TO DIRECT ALL OF YOUR HATE.
 
YOU ARE DOING AN EXCELLENT JOB.  YOU ARE DOING EXACTLY WHAT YOU INTENDED.  HURT ME. 
 
WHY?
 
I JUST WANTED A LITTLE PRIVACY.
 

CLEARLY NO ONE CARES AND YOU CAN JUST KEEP FUCKING WITH ME UNTIL I BLOW MY HEAD OFF (OR YOURS)

I JUST WANTED YOU TO KNOW YOU HAVE SUCCEEDED.

I NOW HAVE NOTHING.  I WILL BE GOING TO JAIL FOR AN EXTENDED PERIOD THANKS TO YOU CALLING THE POLICE AND WHOEVER ELSE YOU RECRUITED TO MAKE MY LIFE COMPLICATED (I CAN ONLY GUESS).

IF THIS IS WHAT YOU WANTED YOU SHOULD BE VERY VERY HAPPY!

CONGRATULATIONS!

THIS IS A FUCKED UP WORLD AND I AM GLAD I DON’T FIT IN.  I WOULD NEVER WANT TO BE LIKE YOU OR ALL THESE ASSHOLES WHO DON’T GET THERE WAY WITH ME SO THEY HAVE TO START HATING, HURTING AND SPREADING THEIR HATERED.

PRETTY FUCKING SAD.

LIVE, LOVE & LAUGH OR GO FUCK YOURSELF!!

Rikki LiXXXoxoxo HTTP://RIKKILIXXX.COM

 

So that up above was just a small example of the drama she brought on a daily basis to me and my fellow neigbors. AND BELIEVE IT OR NOT, she only spent three weeks in the Van Nuys County Jail. It wasn’t like she was going to be gone forever. But it was sure a peaceful respite. The place almost felt like a resort while she was away at Club Van Nuys Med.

I make note to her in my reply THAT our case worker specifically stated that we were supposed to have absolute no contact with each other at all but yet she was the one who broke protocol. But somehow I felt compelled to set the record straight:

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You are a piece of work, you know that? We’re both in violation of our ‘treaty” just so you know—-

# 1 –
 
    I don’t know what you’re talking about in pertaining to the car! Why the fuck do you keep on persisting in conceiving that I would resort to vandalism to get my point across to you?
Unlike you, I play fair – I have guidelines to adhere to when I’m in conflict with people who I CARE DEEPLY ABOUT for which is A:) I don’t physically resort to violence, and B) I don’t damage their property which I believe is the same kind of courtesy you extended to me when you borrowed my DVDs or player – of which I give you kudos for ( wait a sec, is that why you were leaving your vacuum outside your door  for three straight days – thinking that I was going to wreck it or something? Well, your little plan didn’t work, little missy) Why would you think I would be able to get away with something like that?
 
    I am writing this to you from the Fox studio lot – where I work from like, ten to twelve hours a day – unlike you who doesn’t understand the value of working a real job. So I don’t have no clue as to what you’re talking about damaging your car. I am hardly home to watch every single move you make. I get field reports via my cellphone from Jeff, Jene, Randy (and what a joke you asking Jene to be a witness for you for being a good neighbor – after you supposedly to put his dog to sleep?)) and even my own roommates – and I just jot them down and give them to the vice detectives.
 
  # 2
 
    You sought to purposely stab me in the back with betrayal. I bought you that stupid piece of shit stripper pole as A INVESTMENT in our relationship – NOT for you to go shaking your fucking tail in front of those Israelis or GEORGE – the maintenance guy. You had shown no appreciation of it the night when I bought you that thing. You took that stupid piece of shit tin and you just slammed it on the floor like it was just a routine maintenance thing to you and told me to get out so George could come over.
 
   You had no problem throwing back a pair of $400 earrings back at my face, but yet a lousy piece of tin – a lousy piece of tin that caused me nearly a day’s fucking wage just to make you happy because you harangued me for it like THREE FUCKING TIMES ( just to drive home the point ‘Oh I never asked you for anything) for it and wouldn’t get off my back about it until I succumbed to your demands . IF I HADN’T BOUGHT IT for you – I’d still be in the fuckin’ hell-hound box with you. So it’s always DAMNED  if I do and damned if I don’t when it comes to me and you.
 
   And I don’t want to hear shit about it anymore. I don’t care how you feel about it. I have a right to feel the way I do. It just seems a tad might suspicious that you had me buy you this pole AND just incidentally,  two days later after I buy it for you, you’re giving me my walking papers via a stupid e-mail.  (and I told this to your buddy, Frankie too ).
 
  # 3
 
  And you could say I made ‘ a real ass ‘ out of you last Friday ( At least, your buddy Frankie got a chuckle out of it) . What did you think you were doing with this whole ‘ harassment ‘ charge and the goddamn audacity of you getting a ‘restraining order’ against me??? Who was the one who physically assaulted who? Who was the one who sent her limp cock of a husband to try to ambush me on my balcony? (and BTW – thanks for doctoring up that police report – WHICH was probably supposed to be my report, since I was the one who called the cops in the first place).Who was it who sent me 6 text messages calling me every name in the book because I was trying to watch out for you FROM NOT GETTING ARRESTED FOR VANDALISM??  Watch my fucking. cyber. lips. I. WILL. NOT  AND. EVER WILL. RESORT. TO. YOUR. TYPE. OF. METHODS. I will never physically touch or raise my hand to you in order to get my point across. I will, instead,  use my wits to battle you and it seems that my pacifist ways won out in the end. You see, just like you said – you gotta learn to respect yourself – And I did learn to respect myself  without me  not going over the edge.  You need to get a restraining order against yourself, you know that?  Because you present the most danger in harming yourself.
 
 And if it’s any consultation – No I didn’t want to see you go to jail but you left me with no fucking choice. I even tried to warn you with those signs I posted up on the gate. I knew they were coming for you – and it happened five days later. It’s not my fault that you can’t read the signs. The vice alerted me that they were going to make a move on you. Jeff or Jene were phoning me about suspicious vehicles watching over your place, taking down your Driver’s License number – and probably had your phone tapped. WHY? BECAUSE YOU KEPT LEAVING THE GATES OPEN AT ALL HOURS IN THE NIGHT!! THAT’s WHY!!
 
If you kept the damn gates closed (Like I told Josef) none of this shit would have happened and we wouldn’t be having all this degenerate riff raff hanging around so often. AND VICE is still not done with you yet from what they told me. Now Jene had to call the fuckin’ Health Department on you because you vicariously left a whole freakin’ trash bag of used condoms on your doorstep. I mean, c’mon Rikki, what the fuck??  STOP BRINGING YOUR WORK HOME WITH YOU!!
 
 # 4
I wasn’t going to let you walk all over me THIS TIME without a fight. This is what I don’t get about you Rikki – you harp on Jeff for throwing your X-Mas present back at you last year – BUT yet you go all out of your way to do the same to me by throwing stuff that I’ve worked hard to make you happy with and toss it into the pool with nary a care. You don’t think for an instant that I wasn’t publicly humiliated by what you did? And for what, pointing out that you were a hypocrite? You say don’t communicate with me by e-mail – let’s talk about our problems face to face, and yet here you rage a war of egos with me by e-mailing me a message  ‘ you do things to me that make me uncomfortable’ and you don’t even honor me with one stinkin’ example of whatever the hell it is I did wrong. Because I told Frankie this whole thing while you were out of the room – this whole war between us started off with a stupid e-mail that you wouldn’t give me a rational explanation for. It smelled to me like a set up for you to go prancing and impress our new neighbors via my expense account. So how the fuck am I supposed to feel about this?
 
Yeah, your world, your rules. I get you. Most of all, all I wanted from you was your hand in friendship – but again, you purposely ostracised me to make a play for the new neighbors. And don’t fucking lie about it either.
 
 Just remember Rikki – Tough love, but one Judas Kiss deserves another. I’m the one who tried to stick by you thick and thin – even trying to be plutonic wasn’t helping. You’re just fuckin’ miserable and you just want everyone to drown with you – so you keep drawing attention to yourself by committing selfish acts of being a nuisance and people around our complex are fuckin’ sick and tired of it. You keep ragging about how miserable you are over here – why don’t you practice what you preach and start packing to leave? How many times do the cops have to come over to harass you until you get the message? You don’t fit in with this community anymore and I’m being as polite as I fucking can when I tell you: but if you think you’re having trouble being financially strapped – wait until you get a visit from the IRS’s CID division (of which a friend of mine who used to work for the IRS is in the process of setting it up for you)   who will stop at nothing by seizing drug dealers and prostitutes’ assets who make their living off of websites and don’t pay any taxes for. So it just galls me that you waste taxpayer’s time with meetings set up with the city attorneys of whose salaries you don’t even chip in for.
 
Look, I’m done rambling. If you want, you can learn how this whole plan came together, via the blog:  www.myspace.com/purplepinupguru I don’t hold anything back.
 
And they say a magician is not supposed to reveal his secrets.
 
Ciao and Happy new year, villainess of the year.
 
And for what it’s worth – sorry about the ‘c word’ – but once you get me watching Deadwood – well, let’s just say art imitates life in some aspects. Lame excuse, I know.
 
xox
 
Coat
What a bunch of unnessary drama, huh? I’m sure glad that sad chapter of that shitstorm that was once my life is over.
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NEXT: The far and the too few between February 2018 Super Hero Show Sweeps – which was a total fuck up no thanks to the goddamn fucking Winter Olympics that kept pre-empting everything.
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The (Deposit Man) Story So Far….

22 Mar

IMG_1947HAPPY 100th BLOG ANNIVERSARY TO ME!!

Well, other than the amenities of padding up old blogs here and there and giving new cyber shelf life, I don’t how I would’ve pulled it off without any of your help and support.

This blog is my third time’s the charm outing. There have been two previous incarnations of the Purple Pinup Guru blog before this. The first one was put up on WordPress and was written and posted mostly on the grounds of Warner Bros Studios during 2003 – 2005 while I was busy getting acclimated in the blogging sphere world, because back then I would get mad on other people’s dephiforums accounts, because I wanted my own webpage to vent and spiel on the issues of the day. Back then, Bush Jr. aka Diet Coke Duyba was the fascist in chief back then, and I’m thinking today, jeez, how well off was I? But then my mind comes racing back to that Austin Powers knockoff, Dick Cheney, and memories of old blood pressure medication come seeping back to the surface.

The idea for a Cary Coatney stylized blog was sparked by comicsbeat founder and creator Heidi MacDonald after she was through chastising me on her delphiforum called Super Jump Station or something to that effect. And where do people usually wait for trains when they’re ready to commute? Why a platform of course. Also I was heavily influenced by a keyboard player for the Flower Kings, Tomas Bodin and he had his first solo album out by the time, called Pinup Guru. And with the added ingredient of my favorite color, purple and I was off to the blog races.

Sparky Santos, more on who later, helped me with loading pictures, copy and pasting Wikipedia links, and I gave him carte blanche to post on his own anything of interest to him. After I got laid off from Warner Bros, I didn’t have an office to post from anymore, so he took over the reins with political essays and postings about anime, with a few contributions from me here and there until I was back on my feet with the studio work.

Once I had found a new temporary position with Paramount Pictures and later on with Fox Sports and then later on with Sony Pictures Television where I thought it would be safe with working my way to achieving my own office, I started a myspace page offshoot of the Purple Pinup Guru where I would contribute a weekly long-winded essay/sermon while Sparky took full reign of the wordpress version and made it his own thing. The myspace version was fun because it mostly dealt with my tumultuous relationship with neighboring amateur porn and working girl Rikki Lixxx, and her mostly criminal activities at our Melrose Rose stylized bode of Hazeltine Hellmouth out in Van Nuys. It was the toast of every lazy Thursday afternoon usually spent written in my Westwood office of Sony Pictures Television when I had less stuff to do. I almost got caught writing it by then President Stephen Mosko when he popped his head in my office during a surprise visit while I was feeding e-mail information about Rikki Lixxx’s little prostitution ring to the county’s DA office.

After I got laid off from Sony in March of 2009 and recused myself from living where I could no longer afford: i.e; Harry Perzigian’s Brentwood condo as a roommate and high tailed it back to Sherman Oaks where my half-sister Becky found me an apartment. I had gotten a laptop from my mom for Christmas that year and that’s how I started up this version of the blog. Initially, the blog was supposedly focused on my experience in the television business and what I learned about ratings and scheduling and such, but if I had just stuck to 100 posts of that crap, I’d probably be up on manslaughter charges for putting people in a deathly snooze. Rather, I’d just stick to the rating Sweeps Period for those kind of blogs.

So I ventured out to make this blog a sort of ESQUIRE for me blog. Mix the ingredients up and see what comes out of the oven. I keep a regimental variety of spicy and sweet  around here. No two blog subjects are ever the same. In fact, sometimes, I blog off guard, never knowing what it’s going to be about two days before scheduled posting time. And I usually keep an inventory of past blogs, remaster them from the first iteration of this blog(there are still nuggets to harvest) and whatever I find unused  in my Yahoo draft file. That cornucopia of comic books, blu rays, superhero genre show rating reports, trips down Parsippany memory lane and especially Yes Log Progressive rock reminiscences will never change. HOWEVER, there will be no more blog chapters dedicated to Harry Perzigian, of that I can tell you. WHAT I CAN TELL YOU, there will be a different approach to a another lost celebrity that none will ever see coming. I was aiming for a March 28th date to post it, but due to forthcoming Wonder Con fatigue, I will instead save that until the 31st.

So, I’ll be attending Wonder Con in just a few short days over in Anaheim, so I’ve got to cut the mimicry down to a bare minimum and pontificate on a couple of pictures of the DEPOSIT MAN STORY SO FAR.

There are eight issues published of the Deposit Man so far The first three were published with the help of others and the last five issues were financed by me and me alone. The first issue, the pilot issue’s subject matter was already covered in an earlier blog.

Fellow collaborator and main designer of the look of the Deposit Man is credited to Larry Nadolsky, who’s earlier claim to fame was the main artist on the first ever issue of Revolutionary Press’ Rock N’ Roll Comics featuring Gun & Roses and other subsequent similar themed issues featuring hard rock bands. Revolutionary Press comic book line was taken over by fellow San Diegan Jay Allen Sanford after it’s founder Todd Loren’s death (rumored to be by the hand of serial killer Andrew Cunanan, who went to even greater serial killer fame as the murderer of Gianni Versace – now dramatized in the second season of FX’s American Crime Story) and asked Larry to stick around to pencil and ink a new line of comics based on adult film star biographies called Re-Visionary Press. That’s how I became familiar with Larry’s work by seeing it in the Hyapatia Lee issue. When Jay considered folding up shop, he recommended Larry to me and former editor Scott Goodell phoned him up.

Other associates who helped me bring the Deposit Man to life were the aforementioned Scott Goodell, Mike Lilly (Nightwing) Ben Fogletto, Yanick Paquette, Masakela Polee, Christopher Moonlight, Oliver Simonsen,, Mark Capuano, and Sparky Santos.  Trevor Von Eeden, co-creator of the now current Black Lightning hit television show based on the DC Comics character he co-created once consulted with me about the project on a telephone conference call between Goodell and me while on a visit to New York back in the late 1990’s. Both Harlan Ellison and Logan’s Run co-creator George Clayton Johnson have praised me for stepping up to the plate and self publishing it when the publishing rights were in the evil hands of one those I mentioned above associates which will the subject of a future tale. For now, here is a cover gallery of how many issues I’ve published.

Each issue has a separate unique tale or an exciting individual war behind him. I used to think that I was running the show with my own creation, but such, you discover much too is the case when you have many collaborators coming and going. Not many people are united in sharing my goal of the concept that asks: ‘what if Ed Wood one day and decided to self publish a comic that had a Spawn lookalike waking up to find himself trapped in the afterlife and was forced to interact with his supporting cast as if they stepped off of on an episode of Seinfeld or Curb Your Enthusiasm?

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THE DEPOSIT MAN KALIEDOSCOPIC MEDICINE FREAK SHOW was released early in 2001. Sold big time at the 2001 Alternative Press Expo held in San Francisco during springtime of that year. To this day, I only have in possession, 50 copies in stock.

IMG_1941THE DEPOSIT MAN SURVIVAL GUIDE TO THE AFTERLIFE came out, sadly in December 2001. Three months after 9/11 and just before I had lost a step sibling. Themes from this issue are revisited in the still to be published Deposit Man: Playgod Act III. This didn’t sell as good as the previous one shot premiered at the same APE venue in San Francisco. I was so pissed off, that I nearly considered throwing half my stock off the pier on which the convention center was housed. But I didn’t, because I thought this was a complete blast to put together.

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THE DEPOSIT MAN AND THE LAST GATE OF MORTALITY ACT 1 was released in late 2003 and premiered at a Las Vegas convention. The book was my first looking professional products, handing over the printing reins to Brenner Printing in San Antonio, Texas.

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THE DEPOSIT MAN AND THE LAST GREAT GATE OF MORTALITY ACT 2 was released in a rush in the summer of 2004. Biggest regret ever of not waiting for Larry’s Nadolsky’s availability due to prior commitments he had to Heavy Metal Magazine and ended hired some kid I found on a bus by the name of Masakela Polee who had to quit inking over Larry’s pencils because his mom didn’t like the content. HOWEVER he did a tremendous job on the previous issue and the following issue’s covers.  Larry has since re-inked his pages and perhaps they will see the light of day in a future collection.

BUT HERE’S an idea I’d like to try for a future segment: another mitigating factor which prevented this book to be far from my best is that when crunch time came to get this to the publisher when that Polee kid left the rest of the us in the lurch, Oliver and I had to exorcise a ton load of dialogue on the dialogue cutting room floor. Now that I have the artwork as it was intended to be, maybe I should combine it with the original script pages as they were intended to be read and have each page displayed side by side.

IMG_1944THE DEPOSIT MAN THE LAST GREAT GATE OF MORTALITY ACT 3 was released in the summer of 2005 and debuted in the small press area of that year’s San Diego Comic Con International. Loved how this one came together. Oliver, Larry, Sparky, and I really upped our game in the production of this issue.

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DEPOSIT MAN: PLAYGOD Act I was a change in direction and design. We changed to the logo to reflect my love of Doc Savage paperbacks and we start to fiddle with parodies of popular magazines and pamphlets. This is an homage to a regular everyday Broadway Playbill. Harry Perzigian’s cousin up the Bay Area, Kori Thompson contributed this cover.

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DEPOSIT MAN: PLAYGOD ACT II is the latest issue before taking my long-winded sabbatical. It’s my favorite cover by an artist other than Larry Nadolsky. Christopher Moonlight was a guy from Ventura County I found through myspace. I wrote a few e-mails gushing over his work with erotically charged mermaid paintings and he agreed to contribute a cover Tensions flared on the direction I wanted to take on the final two issues. A friend of mine in Mexico City, Mimi Sanchez provided one of the covers to Playgod Act III with Larry Nadolsky providing a variant cover. Larry also the artwork for six pages and Oliver Simonson has contributed two pages featuring his self published characters from his Captain Zap comic book.  For the cover of Playgod Act IV, hopefully I will be recruiting Raphael (Blazing Guns) Navarro (see my post of my fantasy Genesis’ Lamb Lies Down on Broadway comic book adaptation that he once helped me with) to render his version of the final cataclysmic scene in the final double sized issue. I’m still in negotiations for Larry to illustrate the entire issue and to contribute another variant cover.

See you soon, folks.

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Proposed cover of Deposit Man: Playgod Act III – so woefully unpublished to this very day.